Forgotten Beatitudes

So Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize.

Now, see, this should be an honor.  Not just an honor for Obama, but an honor for our nation.  A standing U.S. President has been awarded a coveted global prize for advancement of world peace.  As we’ve had hammered into our heads for the past eight years, we should honor our President and rejoice for his successes and not talk too disparagingly about his failures.

Using then what I’ve learned from the Bush legacy, I should be unquestioningly happy that Obama won this, right?

So then why do Glenn Beck (who may or may not have raped and murdered a young girl in 1990, but refuses to deny that he raped and murdered a young girl in 1990 but wants to shut down a parody site that sort of alleges he uses bad rhetorical techniques like affirming the consequent because he seems to think some people may actually believe that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990 and fair enough because, while no sensible person would believe that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990 the fact that Glenn Beck refuses to just come out and explicitly deny that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990 certainly makes it sound like Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990…but then again, Glenn Beck has never been a particularly well-oiled hinge), Rush Limbaugh and Joe Scarbarough hate America?

Can we waterboard these bozos now and find out?

Seriously, talking heads, wtf is up with all this?  First you all practically pissed yourselves with glee when Chicago lost the Olympic bid and now our standing President receives an honor and you can’t wait to bash away?  Clearly, you’re all deranged!

Or maybe you were just, you know, lying the last 8 years?

The common complaint seems to be “It’s too soon!”

Why?

How do you know?  From what I understand, and not being one of the five Norwegians on the deciding committee, I think I understand just about as much as anyone, the process of nomination and award are secret.  So how can we say, “It’s too soon?”  Do we know the metric?  Has anyone looked at all other awarded Peace Prizes and deduced an appropriate time metric?  If so, is it clear that Obama falls outside of it?

No, they haven’t, so really, “It’s too soon,” is code for, “I don’t like it,” in some cases and “I’m a racist, inbred, cracker who can’t understand why those Yankees who run that thar bookstore that has them sinful books in it is givin out prizes anyway.”

Okay, maybe that’s my own bit of misinterpretation, but come the fuck on.

Another complaint:  It’s just more proof the committee is corrupt!

Um, yeah, you know what…IT’S NOT OUR COMMITTEE!  You would think in a country so thoroughly up in arms about the notion of SOCIALIZED MEDICINE we would be smart enough to understand the notion that an independent body can do WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY WANT with their own goddamn award.  That’s not corruption, you ignorant trash, that’s FUCKING OWNERSHIP.  Until you can prove undue duress of some sort was applied to snag this for Obama then you are pretty much taking a shit on the basic principles behind the free market capitalism that you love if you endorse this nonsense.

As a firm capitalist myself who is not privy to their decision process I’m going to keep my hands off their Medicare…national health care…OWN FUCKING BUSINESS.

Third complaint, sorta linked to the first one:  What’s he done?!?

Other than change the tenor of the global discussion?  Well, as a Sky News commentator  said, he got the award for not being Bush.

Now, that may have been flip, but it’s actually fairly accurate and a far deeper statement than it seems.   The last eight years have been a paradigm shift, not only for the U.S, but for the world.  Obama has already reversed this shift.  It’s an ongoing process, to be certain, but unlike the Nobel prizes awarded in fields like Chemistry and Physics, the Peace prize can and has been awarded to those involved in processes.  It’s not a pat on the back for a job well done or a Mission Accomplished, but for the visionary who works towards a fundamental shift in world attitude.  If Obama is successful in his stated goals, it will be hard to argue that he has not, “accomplished the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses.”

I’m sure benighted hillbillies and small-dicked libertarians and wing-nuts will, but it’ll be hard.

So, yes, he may have been essentially given the award for not being Bush.  More accurately, he was given the award for recognizing the damage of Bush-era doctrines and beginning the work of reversing that damage.

I think that’s deserving of a Peace prize.   Hell, that’s probably deserving of a sainthood.  Talk about your Sisyphean tasks!