Forgotten Beatitudes

Each year, Lake Superior State University comes up with a list of banished words.  Words and phrases that, over the course of the past year, have been used, overused, misused and cruelly used to the point where we just need to put two in their brains so that they stay down.  This year’s list includes such gems as “fiscal cliff” (although apparently “fiscal Norm” is still fine…), “double down” (I guess Blackjack players now have to “increase the original bet by up to 100% and guarantee to stay in after taking one more card”…not terribly catchy, but then Blackjack players aren’t exactly known for their…well, anything), and “spoiler alert” (to be fair, I never saw that one coming, so I’m not sure what all the fuss is about).

The one I have mixed feelings about is “YOLO”.  Acronyms are generally overused and “You Only Live Once” has definitely reached the end of its one life.  YOLO has become the linguistic province of bros (and I bet I know what word is going on the 2013 list) near and far  attempting to inject some carpe diem into their usual carpe zythum.  Consequently it has been used to justify everything from cryptic gang signs to serious research on the afterlife.  While the YOLO meme is totally played out weak sauce, still one rather hopes the notion behind it doesn’t go away.

So tonight, as I sit at home, alone, on New Year’s Eve, after one of the shittiest Christmases on record due to the worst flu I’ve had in years, with ice forming on the roads, I’m thinking about a motto for 2013 and some big resolutions.  Something better than YOLO, but just as inspiring.

Some of this is due to a post on a Facebook group I belong to, Unfundamentalist Christians.  They ran a story of a group of folks standing up to homophobia at a food truck after the clubs closed.  A commentor, though, went off on a tangent about how she saw the food truck offered a “slut” sauce for their pizza and so she had to unlike the food truck’s page because slut shaming or something along those lines. Now, don’t get me wrong.  I’m not a fan of slut shaming.  If a woman wants to dress sexy and enjoys having sex then I see nothing wrong with that.  I also don’t necessarily think “slut” applies only to women anymore.  What I object to is the moral superiority of the bleeding Left getting in the fucking way all the damn time.  See, if it were me, I would do something other than posting a pissy little note explaining how I liked the page but then unliked it because I saw a bad word!  I would like the page and then write a note to the business owner or maybe post on their Facebook wall, saying that I thought what they did in defense of the gay men was inspiring, but I did notice that they had a “slut” sauce and, as they’re obviously really into making their customers feel wanted and equal, that word might be offensive to many of their female customers and is there any way they could change it?

That’s doing something.

Posting pissy little passive-aggressive paragraphs on a completely different Facebook page is a pure example of liberal whining.

Mind you, I posted on the same comment thread something to the effect that we should also not “like” any Italian restaurant that serves a “puttanesca” anything and that the commentor may be overthinking things, so I indulged in a bit of passive-aggressive sniping myself.  I haven’t checked back in that thread yet, but the page now has some sort of “Just because people disagree with you, doesn’t make them an idiot,” picture so I dunno if that’s directed at me or if shit got real after I tossed that golden apple into the room.  Truth be told, I would feel a little guilty if I thought I had sowed discord in a site named “Unfundamentalist Christians”.

It did inspire me, though, to come up with my new motto for 2013.  Now that YOLO is gone, and I’ve been irked by General Leftist Whining as much as I have been annoyed by General Right-Wing Whining, I need something to take up the standard.  Something to help me accomplish the following in 2013:

• Write more.  Novels, essays, plays, blogs, postcards, whatever.  I’m happiest writing and I need to quit denying it to myself out of some weird notion that I’m a career gal now.
• Shoot more.  No, not guns, although I REALLY want to go to a gun range.  And no, not manjuice, although they say a jerk a day keeps the prostate cancer away.  I mean photographs.  A new project at Hipstabear is going to help me accomplish that, so stay tuned.
• Audition more.  I need to get back into theater.  I just do.  I really would like to start my own company this year and produce at least one play.  Specifically, I want to start a company that specializes in classics and plays with a social message.  Sort of “All Odets, All The Time!”
• Be open more.  I’ve got someone special in my life now and I’m excited to see where it goes, but I need to learn how to have someone in my life again and that’s going to be as big a journey as anything.
• Work Out more.  I am staring at the business end of 40 and I want to be a DILF.   Boxing.  Personal Trainer.  Running a 5K and a marathon.  All of it.  Maybe not biking because I’ve never really understood what you’re supposed to do with your penis on long bike rides.  I’ve only done drag one time in my life and, while I make a very homely lady, I also hated the tucking.  Combine that with being on a bike and wtf?