Back when I was going through the height of what I still refuse to acknowledge was my addiction to online video games of the EverQuest variety (although, oddly enough, I never really played EverQuest), I was in the beta for a little game called EVE. Unlike most of these games, EVE was set in the future and in space. There were no goblins to kill, no princesses to save, just miles and miles of beautifully rendered 3D space for you to build your empire in.
And it was beautiful. Seriously gorgeous surroundings. Unfortunatley, like most things that are stunning, once you got past the “pretty pictures” phase, it was fairly uninteresting. Boring. Mind-numbingly dull as a sack of retarded hammers. I played for a couple of hours and decided that, any game where you can start your ship minining, walk away from your keyboard, go out to get lunch with friends, do a bit of shopping, feed ducks in the park, cogitate on the meaning of life and the importance of bread crumbs, come home and fix dinner, turn on your XBox and play through part of Star Wars: Knights Of The Old Republic and then FINALLY return to your computer only to see that NOTHING HAS REALLY CHANGED…well, that’s not a game for me. My old man reflexes may not make me a fan of fast-twitch games, but come the fuck on.
So I left EVE and, several years later, I was surprised to find out that it had survived. Not only survived, but thrived.
Thrived on asshats.
